Fairly Odd Parents Porn Story: The Last Eliminator – Chapter 1

The Last Eliminator

Wishology fiction! Timmy is lonely and depressed with his parents and godparents on vacation. Then, things get worse as an eliminator never destroyed is determined to do his banished Master’s final command: “Find Timmy Turner and bring him to me.”

This first chapter is dedicated to Linzerj and Oddauthor. Rock on, you two!

Quote:

The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together. ~Erma Bombeck

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(Eliminator POV)

It was midnight when I awoke, staring up at an indigo skyline, dotted with stars. My emerald eyes blinked as I slowly slid my metallic arms from underneath me. Boy….they were stiff….luckily, the fine titanium I had been crafted from was rust proof.

Because I had a feeling that I had been lying here in this compost heap for quite awhile. Judging by my systems, I had been in stationary charge for….six weeks.

Yikes.

I gazed at the flickering starlight for a moment.

Pretty sure it would take my breath away….if I had any.

Robots don’t have lungs. Sue me.

It was late…..around midnight, I figured.

I wasn’t exactly sure how I knew, but the darkest hour is always just before dawn.

Even a servant of the almighty Darkness could guess that.

In the midst of the garbage, pulling a rotten banana peel from my head, amongst other things, I groaned.

If I only had a brain….my head would be splitting.

But luckily, as I do not-only a voice command system through my cerebrum-that was echoing quite a bit of static.

As I sat there, blinking for a moment or so, waiting for my memory overdrive to function, I stiffened.

And then froze, vaguely aware my eyes were literally aglow….

A whirl of memories began to attack my mind, the data rushing to and fro like a mass of angry bees in a wild torrent…..

—————

The cold, dark, twisting mass that was the forever writhing darkness.

It was so frigid….metal soon became icy in its depths.

The screams that were ever present in our ears….the terrified screams of the people below….and the anguished ones of the Master.

Flickering flashes of light came faster and faster as the years began to go topside….forevermore, the cry of battle, horns blowing in the distance, drums being beat in a low, sorrowful beat, each echo fading in with its companion before another loud one….

The echo of cyber bullets.

And the Eliminators called in to counterattack.

——————–

Finally, after so many years of being in space, The Darkness came to a small, rather insignificant planet.

Earth.

I thought it utter nonsense. The Master couldn’t be content with us? No. We were deviced androids. If the Darkness wanted affection, we would give it….because we were programmed to do as such.

It was never real.

But why follow the word of a prophecy that promised what the Darkness could never, ever possess?

Hope?

But I had been dead wrong.

A small, beaver toothed boy had shot the Darkness.

With pure, unaggressive, light.

Overwhelming, from the tallest treetops of Eden….

I don’t know what “Eden” is, seeing as the Master never bothered to tell me, while he was muttering like a psychosomatic lunatic back in space. A fabric store?

I had been appointed the new second in command. My eyes became wide as I attempted to talk to the Darkness.

“Uh…boss? You gonna be o-?”

“Find Timmy Turner.”

I paused, feeling rather annoyed as I shot my buddies commiserating glances.

Would he never stop pursuing this one kid?

But I didn’t understand until I shared the boss’s emotions firsthand….

Moonlight, sunlight, and starlight….

Lightlightlightlightlightlight…..

It was teeming and swirling and swallowing him up….overwhelming, flooding….

Like cool water on serrated wounds and burns….

The boy….was not attempting to deliberately harm him. He was just worried for his….friends. And Family.

The Darkness wanted more. It craved more.

A frenzy of strange emotions was swirling in a maelstrom of activity in his stomach. If…the Darkness had a stomach.

This boy, this strange creation of light, why did he….?

What…..what was his name again?

Timmy Turner.

I forever heard that name in my head.

Timmy…Timmy….TimmyTimmyTimmyTimmy…..

The kid gave himself up to my master on the Blue Moon in the Vegan system.

So….two days later, when his fairies pulled him out, he wasn’t exactly happy.

But I’ve never seen him so ballastically furious before….made me and my mates shiver.

My superior had announced his defiance of the Darkness, and the threat that he would gladly destroy Timmy.

And…..well, the Darkness sort of blasted him to bits.

I had to admit, I wish I could have watched that in slowmo.

Ah, well. My superior got blown up.

Looks like my last birthday wish payed off.

I remember yanking around, astonished, to face the shadows once again.

“Timmy Turner is not to be eliminated.”

The voice was so cold and abrupt….and, seeing as he sent chunks of the future Destructionator to earth’s oceans, I got the smallest hint that it might be wise to obey.

“Right,” I said, holding up two hands in a whoa, there buddy sort of fashion. “Totally clear on that.”

“Timmy Turno…..No eliminato.”

Apparently, Boss doesn’t appreciate our sense of humor. It let out a rasping snarl.

“Find Timmy Turner…….and bring him to me!”

But we failed. I failed.

Only one perccent of the Darkness had not been reverted to the Kindness….which loved Timmy a great deal.

Then again, it loved everyone, but it seemed to have a very soft spot for the kid who no one understood.

But…

I still had a mission to fulfill, even if all my brethren were dead.

Turning my head slightly to the heavens so that I would get a better signal, I paused.

And flinched.

It was so faint….

….but the demand for any eliminator still alive was very clear.

The Morse code spelled out as such.

TimmyTurnerTimmyTurnerTimmyTurnerTimmyTurner….

…one percent was still a lot, in the terms of Darkness.

———————————–

I stood, the gales blowing quite powerfully to the west.

And, in a burst of sparks, I shot off into the sky.

Thousands of miles away, a small boy bit his lip, squeezing his eyes shut as he pulled himself under the navy blue covers of his bed.

Vicky had finally finished tormenting him-for now, anyway-and was watching MTV or something of the sort downstairs.

Timmy stared at his fists in the gloom his blankets had provided him with, clenching them slightly.

When were Mom and Dad coming home from Amity Park?

Probably soon….so they could come back for their hiking boots.

The two had were far too immature to raise a child. Timmy sometimes sourly wished, judging by how they still acted like they were on a honeymoon.

As for Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof….

Timmy swallowed. Great. That was the last thing he wanted….to think about his fairies.

They were busy with a….family vacation. Wanda had seemed reluctant during packing, and Timmy knew why.

It was a probably a “fairies only” event. So Timmy stayed, and while Wanda tried to put up a front of reluctance, the three had finally left for Kidneyland.

This week had been a nightmare. No….maybe that was the wrong term.

He’d had nightmares that were like eating sugar plums compared to this week.

Mom and Dad called for like three minutes once every two days. His fairies were off having the time of their lives.

A crumpled test paper with a spiky red F on it lay nearby.

Red, black, rich purple, grey, and blue bruises from Francis were on his body.

He had to finish a science project all by himself today as well. No one wanted to be partners.

Ah, well. Things could only get better after today, right?

Ri-

SMASH.

Timmy let out an astonished yelp, wincing under the covers as something smashed into the glass of his windows at full speed-

BANG.

The contents of Timmy’s room went clattering to the side, Timmy stumbling from the blankets, wild eyed and bewildered.

“What the-?!”

The boy froze, heart skipping a beat before resuming at an incredible pace.

An Eliminator.

A real, true, Eliminator….had come back.

I slowly stepped forwards, my metallic feet crunching the already splintered glass as Turner staggered back.

“You! B-but…I….KNOW I did! So how…?

How…..?”

I let out one voice command.

“Get Timmy Turner.”

The boy gulped, staggering back a few steps. Obviously, I didn’t sound too reassuring.

I leapt forward, growling as I grasped the startled boy’s waist, squeezing with everything I had. He still attempted to struggle.

“Errrmppphh! Let….let me go…..ermph-“

Luckily, I had lured the babysitter out of the house by placing a few human cash dollars on the sidewalk. She was busy hugging them to herself, even as her charge continued his desperate fight.

….all in vain.

———–

Stars.

Stars and sparks were dashing all over Timmy’s flickering eyelids as the grip continued to contort itself….it wouldn’t stop, it wouldn’t stop, it wouldn’t stop….

It was getting hard to breathe…..

I sighed, and let go. Oh….right. The Darkness wanted the kid alive.

But that didn’t stop me from rocketing out the window at full speed, a crying out Timmy Turner in my hands.