FairlyOdd Parents Porn Story: Godparent Chapter 10. Broken fixing.

Disclaimer: I dont own Fairly OddParents.

Chapter 10: Broken Fixing

Chester had got back on his fix-the-world-100% rayon shag magic carpet.

How do I fix the world?

Ya could wish away global warming, said Norm.

Norm knew that was one of the biggest problems known to mankind according to most humans. If he convinced Chester to fix that and granted it well, Jorgen would probably choose him over the Pixies. It would be a good start anyway, he felt.

I wish global warming didnt exist!

POOF!

Norm was planning to grant this wish according to the spirit, not the letter, this time, so Jorgen would see how good a godparent he was.

PING!

The Pixies granted it completely literally.

The Earth froze because it was no longer producing heat.

Norm looked at it in shock. He didnt intend that (though if one of his masters had wished for it, he wouldve). Was his magic going wacko?

Norm shapeshifted into a bird. Nope, his figilly gland was going fine, at least.

Norm, that wasnt what I meant, protested Chester, I wish the world wasnt frozen.

POOF!

Norm again tried to grant it how Chester meant it.

PING!

All the ice disappeared from Earth.

Norm glanced at his wand in frustration. It wasnt broken. What the heck was wrong?

Again? asked Chester, Norm, whats with you? I thought you were trying to HELP me fix the world, not make it worse.

I was, said Norm in confusion, Its just that my magic is going wacko.

Chester knew Norm was telling the truth. He had wished that Norm would always tell the truth. He doubted Norm had outwitted the wish.

Next, said Norm, deciding that maybe he should stop bothering with global warming for a while, Ya should wish away cancer. Lots of people care about curing it.

I wish cancer didnt exist!

POOF!

Norm granted the wish exactly how Chester meant it.

PING!

The Pixies made the star sign Cancer disappear from the sky and all newspapers, magazines, sites and other things containing horoscopes.

Norm didnt notice that interference because what Chester meant had happened after all.

My magic works now, said Norm, Maybe it was just a little malfunction, not a permanent problem.

What should we fix next?

Well, said Norm, Due to my magic misfire, there is a dearth of ice in the both the Artics.

I wish there was ice at the Artics, said Chester.

POOF!

PING!

One microscopic ice cube per Artic appeared at each Artic.

Norm? asked Chester, Why didnt you grant my wish?

Norm didnt know why. He knew that when a wish failed (because it was against Da Rules or the fairys magic was disabled), their wand would make a fart noise. Well, his wand didnt pass gas and he saw no reason for creating ice in the Artic to be against Da Rules, though it was rather like carting nickel to Sudbury. Also, Norm doubted that anyone had caught him in a butterfly net. He would probably have noticed if they had.

The fairy/genie hybrid didnt reply. He didnt want to admit to Chester that he didnt know.

Norm?

What?

Why didnt you grant my wish?

I cant believe Im saying this, muttered Norm, But I have no clue. None! Zip! Nada!

Chester was surprised. He thought Norm would know why. Well, he had no clue either.

Alright, said Norm, How bout ya fix world hunger?

Norm figured that fixing that problem would earn him some brownie points with Jorgen.

I wish world hunger didnt exist.

POOF!

PING!

People in poverty still didnt have any more food than they previously did, but no one (in poverty or not) didnt feel hungry anymore. They still needed food; its just that they lacked awareness of the fact.

Chester wondered why he suddenly stopped feeling hungry. Then he remembered his previous wish.

Norm! yelled Chester, You granted it wrong! I didnt mean that people shouldnt feel hungry any more, I meant to wish that everyone had food to eat!

Norm was shocked by Chesters anger. He had granted it correctly, hadnt he?

Whaddya mean I granted it wrong? asked Norm, I granted it exactly the way you meant it!

No, you didnt!

The Pixies gazed in triumph at the argument. Their plan seemed to be succeeding. Norm wasnt a threat. How could anyone be a threat if it took him or her fifty thousand years to escape a puny lamp?

Jorgen watched Chesters wishes cause chaos again. Norm was not a better godparent than the Pixies. Norm was worse. The fact had Norm had more than ten thousand hours granting wishes didnt make him better than the Pixies. Jorgen regretted making that deal with Norm in the first place. However, the deal was two weeks to prove he could be a better godparent than the Pixies. Two weeks hadnt finished yet.

Norm then realized that yes, indeed, he had granted it wrong. It was lunchtime, yet he wasnt hungry.

Alright, alright, said Norm, I granted it wrong. But I can fix it! Im Norm the Magical Fairy/Genie Hybrid!

Norm noticed that Norm the Magical Fairy/Genie Hybrid lacked the flow of Norm the Magical Genie. But that was what Chesters cursed, tell the truth wish forced him to say. Norm groaned.

I wish everyone who needed food had food and that people could feel hungry again, said Chester.

POOF!

The wish was granted exactly as Chester meant it. Chester had made a wish the Pixies couldnt mess up.

Norm and Chester were glad that the wish worked.

Jorgen began to reconsider what he previously thought about deciding that Norm would lose his job. Maybe Norm was better than the Pixies. However, he needed two weeks to come to a conclusive decision.

The Pixies were upset that they couldnt mess up the wish. Norm might beat them after all. However, Norm wasnt Timmy Tiberius Turner. He hadnt saved the world countless times.

Norms deep well of resentment could also be drawn on. They just needed to convince Norm that Chester was as cold-hearted and stupid as most of Norms masters. That Chester viewed him as simply a wish-granting object, like a monkeys paw. They also had to convince Chester that Norm was malicious, evil, foul and harmful to young children. That wouldnt be hard. The Pixies smiled maliciously. Theyd rule the world soon!

Hey, Chester! shouted Norm, Do you wanna go to Dimmsdale Fried Chicken?

Norm felt like having lunch now and he remembered Crockers delicious smelling skin after being bathed in DFCs various spices. He wanted fried chicken. He also figured that going to a restaurant with Chester would cause Jorgen to think of him as a better godparent than the Pixies. That was parenting, not just wish-granting. Parents took kids to restaurants sometimes.

Sure, said Chester, But how do we afford it? Are you able to POOF up money?

Norm didnt think about that. He consulted Da Rules. According to Da Rules, POOFing up money is counterfeiting and counterfeiting is bad.

Like I care, muttered Norm.

Nope, said Norm, According to the book of smoof known as Da Rules, POOFing up money is counterfeiting and counterfeiting is bad.

Norm rolled his eyes, Who knew?

Oh, said Chester, feeling disappointed, Do genies have Rules?

Nope, said Norm, than he said bitterly, Not that kind of Rules anyway. Genies are trapped in magical smoof lamps and who rubs their lamps becomes the genies master and they have to grant the masters every wish. Masters can use their last wish for three more wishes. Once the third wish is made, magic lamps suck up the nearest source of magic, which usually happens to be the genie.

Chester wasnt sure what to say. Norm sounded upset. Maybe he shouldnt have asked him that.

I shouldnt have asked, said Chester, I didnt think it would upset you. Sorry.

No, replied Norm, Im not upset. Thats all behind me now!

The Pixies didnt like the turn of events. Chester seemed to care about Norm now. That couldnt be happening. Norm wasnt acting like the sociopath he seemed to be when competing in Fairy Idol. The Pixies wondered if Norm genuinely had a softer side. Probably not. Norm did seem to be a genius, capable of saying any lie and being believed, faking any emotion in existence.

They played the movie that they had grafted together from the Timmy-cams Norm scenes. It only contained scenes of Norm being obviously cruel. They doubted Chester was great at getting subtlety.

Jorgen Von Strangle didnt expect Norm to offer to go the DFC with Chester. He had thought that Norm had read Da Rules. Apparently, he skipped a few sections.

Jorgen remembered that Chester lived in poverty. Maybe Norm did that because he had a noble heart. Jorgen remembered how ruthless Norm was in Fairy Idol. Insulting a ten-year old kid on television was not a sign of a noble heart.

Jorgen supposed Norm could have just done it to get brownie points with him then. Then, he figured, that was certainly a fail. Jorgen would think higher of Norm if he actually read Da Rules. Jorgen prioritized Da Rules over most other things after all.

How bout you wish for lunch? suggested Norm, Please, nothing gross though. I dont want to eat trash or rats.

Norm had checked Da Rules. There was nothing against that. Just a Rule against wishing for breakfast after 10:30 (which was why Turner had wished for a ham-and-cheese omelet for his first genie wish.)

Alright, said Chester, I wish we had pizza!

POOF!

Norm and Chester both got pizza, on a plate.

PING!

The Pixies put it all on Chesters plate.

Traintrack teeth, said Norm, The pizza isnt just yours, you know! Ya arent my master anymore, remember?

I didnt take it!

Well, said Norm, How bout how look at your plate, then?

Chester looked at it.

Lots of pizza, said Chester, eating the pizza, I have a lot of pizza. Whats your problem?

Well then, said Norm, How bout you look at mine?

Chester looked at Norms plate. No pizza.

I didnt steal it though, said Chester.

Norm thought about it. Chester didnt seem to be the type to steal stuff from his godparent though he was a friend of Mr. Timothy Torture-A-Lot. Chester did try to fix the world after all. All other humans preferred to rule it instead.

Alright, said Norm, Ya didnt. Sorry!

Again, Norm had apologized to Chester. Why was he able to say sorry to Chester twice? How was he able to really, honestly mean it?

Okay, said Chester, I wish you had pizza.

POOF!

Pizza appeared on a plate, in front of Norm.

The Pixies were frustrated. Norm and Chester didnt hate each other yet. They had messed up Chesters wishes, but Norm and Chester resolved it every time. Norm even was sorry for being mean to Chester. Where was the uncaring sociopath they wanted him to be? Chester would never believe he was evil at this rate.

Jorgen didnt expect Norm to do such good conflict resolution with Chester. Did Norm care about Chester or was it just an act to remain a godparent? Jorgen didnt know, but he suspected the latter.

After the incidents he and Chester had with the wishes, Norm wondered if Jorgen would let him continue being a godparent and remain free. The Pixies had granted wishes perfectly though, on the video. Norm couldnt beat that, could he? If he couldnt, hed be Chesters slave, not his godparent and Chester knew all the genie laws. Chester could exploit him any way he wanted, for however long he wanted if he lost his job.

Norm blanched. He didnt trust Chester not to do that. He didnt trust Chester at all. Even if he was sorry for being mean to him. Norm knew that if he trusted anyone; hed just get hurt and exploited.

Chester wondered why Norm seemed upset. Maybe being a genie wasnt behind him in the metaphorical sense after all. Chester decided not to think about it. He was going to continue fixing the world after lunch anyway! Maybe Norm would cheer up by them!

Authors Note: I hope I kept Norm and Chester in character. Please tell me if you think they arent. Even if you dont normally point about that type of thing.