FairlyOdd Parents Pornography Story: Unbelievable Quite Odd Parents Chapter One
Disclaimer: I dont own
DannOMG, I almost put Danny Phantom! (bursts out laughing;
stops after a few minutes; wipes some tears of laughter away)
Man…anyway, I dont own Fairly Odd Parents, another awesome show,
which is also ironically created by Butch Hartman, the awesome man
who is the creator of both DP and FOP…but why am I telling you
this? If youre reading this, you probably know that, already!
Some important
information in the notes at the end of this chapter.
Amazing Fairly Odd Parents
Prologue: Godparents…Fairy
Godparents…
It was another average, ordinary
day in Dimmsdale, and average, ordinary city in the average, ordinary
United States of America. Just…average. I mean, nothing ever
exciting happens…ever. At all.
Well, except now. I mean, if
nothing exciting happens, we have no story, right? Right!
…Right…onto the story!
Meet Timmy Turner, your ordinary
twelve-year-old who no-one understands. (Ordinary except for those
buck teeth of his, at least. Ha-ha, beaver face!) Timmy has brown
hair, dark blue eyes, a pink hat, pink shirt, and blue jeans. Why a
pink hat and shirt? Well, his parents thought they were going to have
a girl instead of a boy…yeah, I feel sorry for him, too.
Anyway, Timmy faces the same
things most kids do; namely school, parents, evil babysitters,
girls…well, except maybe the evil babysitter part. Most
twelve year olds wouldnt have a babysitter sitting them while
their parents were out, but, well…Timmys parents were…a bit
overprotective at times.
At the moment, we see Timmy
walking down the sidewalk, a bemused look on his face. Not that we
should blame the poor guy. Poor Timmy had missed the bus and now had
to walk to school. At least it was sunny out, right? Theres a good
thing!…Oh, wait, never mind. It began to rain on Timmy Turners
parade (…metaphorically and in reality, too).
Timmy sighed, Aw, man… He
started running, but tripped and fell on the sidewalk.
A goth-looking boy named Francis
rode by on a scooter, splashing water from a puddle onto the
pink-hat-wearing boy. Francis was your common bully that went to
Timmys school, Dimmsdale Academy. Francis pointed and laughed at
Timmy before scooter…ing of.
Timmy sighed, pulled himself up,
and walked grimly up the sidewalk into Dimmsdale Academy. He
muttered, Well, time for another day of therapy-inducing-forced
learning and being bullied. At least I have my friends. He entered
the school and quickly walked to his locker, which was in between his
two best friends lockers.
Timmy Turners two bestand
onlyfriends were Chester and A.J. Chester was a blonde-haired,
green eyed boy with braces that was wearing a white t-shirt and blue
jeans. A.J was an African American boy who was strangely bald with
black eyes, wearing a white and green striped shirt and black jeans.
Chester was a very poor boy who wasnt the brightest bulb (though
smarter then Timmys dad…), while A.J was a super
genius-in-secret. The only reason A.J kept this a secret was the fact
he wanted to keep a low profile. Whatever that meant.
Hey, Timmy. Chester grinned
his brave-filled grin.
Whats up, man? A.J
asked, seeing Timmys less-then-amused frown.
My parents! Timmy frowned.
Theyre going out again, leaving me
with Vicky! A plant nearby died once the pink-hat-wearing boy said
Vicky while everyone in the areaincluding Timmyshivered.
Chester sympathetically put a
hand on Timmys shoulder, Wow, tough.
Timmy looked hopeful, Soyou
guys will come over and endure the torture with me?
His friends burst out laughing.
Chester snickered, Good one, Timmy. He and A.J walked off.
Timmy groaned.
Well, it could be worse,
he reminded himself.
Which was true, actually. He winced, half-expecting things to
actually get worse, but they didnt. Huh,
things are looking up already. Timmy
smiled to himself and continued walking to first class.
Mr. Crocker, a grey-skinned man
with dark hair and beady black eyes, was Timmys science
teacherand his math and history teacher at the same time. Mr.
Crocker was a very smart man, but he was despised by the students for
his F-giving habits.
He has an F fetish,
smirked Chester once when he thought Crocker wasnt aroundbut
the teacher was around, and the poor blonde boy got detentions for a
month.
Hello, class. Mr. Crocker
said to the class. Today is a very special day. Do you know why?
A student raised his hand and
answered, Um cause youre giving us a pop quiz!
Mr. Crocker sneered,
WRONG!Waitthats right! How did you know? He was
surprised, to say the least.
The board says there was a
pop quiz today. Timmy pointed out, raising a hand.
Mr. Crocker spun around to see,
in fact, he had written on the board that there was a test today. He
smirked, Well, thats surprisingperhaps I forgot because
ofhe suddenly began screaming while freaking out and doing
various random movements through the airFAIRY
GOD PARENTS!
A.J sighed, We
just had to get the crazy teacher for science, math, and
history?
Anyway, Crocker stood up
from falling on the floor, lets begin the quiz! I probably
should tell you what its about so you can have a minute to
studyBUT I WONT! He laughed maniacally, handing out papers.
Timmy sighed, So
much for things looking up! Oh, well
When Timmy got home, he was
surprised to find his parents had left already. A note on the table
said the following:
Dear Timmy,
Me and your mother have left
early. Your babysitter, Vickyhey, did that flower just die?should
be there to, um, sit you or whatever. Have fun! Love you!
Love,
Your Parents
Timmy sighed. Of
course Luckily,
Vicky wasnt arriving for another half-hour, so he quickly went
upstairs in his room. Maybe
I can hide somewhere? Nah, last time I did that, she found me and
almost ripped me to shreds! He
shuddered at the memory.
Timmy entered his room, which had
not much except a bed, a side-table, a computer, a closet, and a
dresser. He jumped onto the bed and sighed, laying down on it. He
looked sadly up at the roof. Timmy mumbled, I wish I wasnt so
lonely He had friends, and his parents, but even then, he had
no-one elseno one that cared about him in the way he wished his
parents did. Timmy knew his parents loved him, but they were always
too busy to show it.
He was miserable
Now, before we can send you to
your first Fairy Godchild, we must ask if you are ok with this. A
small man said. Well, he was a male of something not entirely
humanactually, not even slightly human, though fairies did look
like human children somewhat. They were short creatures, with wings,
crowns, andif they passed the Fairy Academy trainingwands. This
particular fairy had dark blue hair and yellow eyes.
A fairy with messy green hair and
green eyes of the same dark shade as his hair, grinned, Of course
we are! Thisll be great! He was Cosmo, a young fairy at the age
of 2353 years old (which was, when compares to humans ages, not even
a few days old). He was wearing a white shirt, black pants, and a
black tie.
On the right of Cosmo was his
wife, Wanda, a pink-haired, pink-eyed, 2273 year old fairy who wore a
yellow shirt and black pants. She smiled and nodded in agreement.
Both she, Cosmo, and the other fairy were hovering over their seats.
They were able to touch the ground, but preferred not to.
The fairy being the desk smiled,
Great! Now, remember, you two are going to be the first Fairy
Godparents to a child in over ten thousand years!
Wow, thats older
thenumuherr Cosmo blinked in confusion.
Me and Cosmos ages put
together. Wanda finished, frowning. That was a long time ago
The blue-haired fairy, who, by
the way, was named Tom, sighed, Yes, it wasI myself barely
remember those days, being twelve thousand years oldoh, well.
Wanda then asked, Do you know
who our godchild is going to be?
Cosmo grinned, Ooo, is it a
boy or a girl? I want a boy! Boy, boy, boy, boy, boy! Wanda
rolled her eyes, but smiled affectionately.
Tom chuckled, Yes, he is a
boy. Cosmo cheered. His nameis Timmy Turner.
Never heard of im. Cosmo
blanked. Is he famous?
No, Cosmo, a famous boy
probably wouldnt need a fairy. Wanda corrected.
If he was a lonely famous kid,
he would! Cosmo argued with a grin.
Wanda blinked, Wow, youre
right A notebook appeared out of thin air, as did a pen, both
at the same time with a pop sound. She wrote down, Cosmo
got something correct once so far today. So far he has broken his
record. The notebook
and pencil vanished with a pop.
Tom added, We were going to
send you to one Daniel Fenton after he got his ghostly abilities, but
he warmed up to them already. That, and magic doesnt work that
well on ghosts. He shrugged. AnywayTimmy is in dire need of
Godparents. Trust me, if we could only one kid fairies, it would be
him…though, seeing as how we have to give fairies to someone,
we chose you!
Why us, again? Cosmo
asked, confused.
Youre young, capable
fairies. Tom paused. Well, Cosmos young, at least.
Wanda smiled, Ill keep him
in line, sir.
Tom chuckled, Goodyou dont
want Jorgen stepping in, trust me!
Cosmo and Wanda both shuddered at
the mention of the Fairy General. Cosmo suddenly asked, Oh, oh!
Can we see our Godchild yet!?
Of course! Youve leaving
immediately, after all! Tom smiled, Good luck!
Thanks, Wanda replied. Her
husband was doing cartwheels through the air in happiness.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeargh!
Cosmo somehow tripped in mid-air, hitting the ground. Ouch!
Wanda rolled her eyes. Shed
worry for Cosmo more if fairies werent all notoriously fast
healersthank heavens. If Cosmo didnt have fairy-healing factor,
hed probably be dead by now. Not that you couldnt kill a fairy,
but it would have to be something very powerful
Come on, hon. Wanda
pulled Cosmo up as the green-eyed fairys face healed instantly
with a popping sound. Lets go.
Ok! Cosmo beamed at his
pink-eyed wife, who blushed a little at his close proximity. They had
only been married a few years, which, once again, when compared with
humans, was only a few minutes when it came to a fairies long life.
Wanda smiled at him back and lifted her wand, a black stick with a
yellow star on the end. Cosmo held up one exactly the same. They
waved their wands, which glowed. And
POOF!
Timmy was playing a video game on
his computer whenPOOF!he
was startled by the noise behind him. Pausing the game at mach speed,
he spun the chair around and jumped out of it, striking a pose.
Hiyah? He stared wide eyed at Cosmo and Wanda.
Cosmo spoke, Hi, Im Cosmo!
And Im Wanda! Wanda
added.
And were they both
said, your Fairy
Godparents! With a
pop, the words Fairy Godparents appeared behind them in
purple letters, along with spotlights that highlighted the words in
all their glory. After a moment of this, they popped away.
Cosmo and Wanda held their dramatic poses.
Didnt see that one
coming. Timmy admitted.
Notes
– Did
you know? You know
those page break things (you know…the lines that separate different
scenes, or, in the case of larger lines, the beginning and end of the
chapter)? Those lines are the same size in this story as they are in
my other onewhich is set in the very same universe this one
isAmazing Danny
Phantom. If you go
to my profile, youll find more info…
– Also, my narration can be a
bit…random at times. This fic will be more humorous then my
other ones.
– In normal continuity, Timmy is
ten. Here, hes twelve. Because I can. Take that.
– Just like in the show, we dont
learn Timmys parents names. Actually, I might reveal them in
the future, but for now, Ill keep that part in just to stay a bit
more similar to the show.
-Speaking of the fact that this
is set in the same universe as my other story ADP,
the universes main characters will make cameos in each others
stories, though there wont be a full-out crossoverfor a while,
at leasthehhehhehactually, Danny was mentioned right out
earlier. His existence and secret is known to all fairies, especially
since they almost gave him fairies since he was so depressed about
his powers. However, Danny warmed up to them (by the chapter 1:
Ghost Powers for the Clueless),
so they decided not to give him Fairy Godparents. And no, ghosts
dont count as magical creatures, so he could
have gotten fairies.